Week Four

With five days to go, and Peter taking my second shift in the Visitor Center, I was optimistic about the final week. What I didn't expect was the cold weather to rush in like icicle-tipped hawk. Monday was without a doubt the worst day of work, and the other interns agreed. The morning consisted of pounding tires

[Pounding Tires = stuffing dirt into car tires and pounding it with sledgehammers until the dirt is hard like cement and the tire is level.]

against violent gusts of wind. Dirt from the tires and piles were blasted into the air by wind and rained on us like screaming bits of glass. For hours we squinted our eyes and slammed sledgehammers into the dirt. To better visualize, think of the following movies.

Hidalgo
Dune
Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
The Birds

Even sunglasses didn't help, since the wind just tossed earth into the sides of the shades. Goggles were nowhere to be found and the wind never let up. When it was finally time for lunch, we went to the G2 site, ate and picked dirt out of our eyeballs. We then went outside and helped shovel dirt and buffer up the sheets of insulation. For a bit I went inside a hole cut into the building and received buckets of dirt to fill it. When Doug walked by, I hissed at him like a rat.

Thankfully, dirt wasn't being thrown at our faces, but that's because it started to rain. And it got colder. And the wind picked up where it left off. So I lend my two rain jackets to Ahmed and Alicia and opt not to use my emergency poncho. For about three hours we were outside digging in bitter wind and rain and it never seemed to end. It's cruel that we need to move in order to stay warm, yet it's the last thing you want to do when you're freezing.

We finished up and went back to Hive. I would have loved a hot shower, assuming we'd have hot water, but I had to drive into town to do laundry. I dropped off a guy named Brett, who I referred to as Peter Pan because he seemed to just appear via pixie dust and had a feather in his hat (seriously).

Luckily the weather improved, but the house was still frigid at night. Funny thing about the Hive is it doesn't work very well. We got to see very cool earthships owned by the company or built/inhabited by some of the workers that not only look like villas but function perfectly well. The Hive isn't quite finished. The best way to explain this is to simply say that where there's sun, we have power but little water, and when it rains we have water but no AC power.

We went to the hot spring again, yet it was significantly colder than the last time as we walked down. I think it was 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Taking off my layers at freezing point was pretty invigorating, but it was nothing on that dip into the boiling water. I couldn't go in at first because my testing foot burned from it. I waited a second and then slid in. The water was so hot that steam rolled off the surface like fire. We lit candles and a Jack O' Lantern, drank beers and took swigs of vodka. Both the night air and spring water were about 20 degrees colder and hotter than the last time. It's like nature was two magnets pushing each other farther apart.

I was more quiet this time around, enjoying the how the water felt and how the steam whirled around and blocked people's firelit faces. Ahmed and I talked for a bit and Alicia and I tossed rocks at each other. Luke pulled out banana bread and a sea of hands launched out for it. Through the mayhem, Luke held out the pan to me, screaming desperately, "Clay! Take some! There's not much left!" It tasted great, and the situation intensified when someone discovered a layer of chocolate at the bottom. There was no honor code after that.

After work last Friday, we all had a beer party inside one of the earthships. Phil, a foreman from Maryland who called me Terrapin a lot, genuinely thanked us for our hard work. Alicia and Ahmed taught Nick and I some Spanish phrases, although Nick preferred to reply "que cabron" (what an asshole) to everything. I would usually reply "come mierda" (eat shit).

Ahmed also showed Nick and I a plastic cover of a peanuts can, and used it to describe a search for love and life. Amazingly, it made sense and was described more beautifully than I ever could manage. He said when you go through life one checkpoint at a time, over and over, another accomplishment, another lover, and just run through them, you are circling around the rim, following a thin line. But, if you get off the line, and cross into the center to pursue someone you really love or something you truly care about, you have the whole circle to explore.

Second to last day of work we were bored to tears and made it through. Last day of work we all skipped, as everyone expected us to since most of the workers were leaving or had left and there was little work left to do. We saw Navy Mike's earthship, which reminded me of the stylish hotel in Cappodocia that was literally built into a cave but was beautifully furnished and comfortable. Navy Mike is a character. He is the only man I've met badass enough to wear a pink bandanna on his head. He was, obviously, in the navy, traveled to several countries including Turkey, is in great shape, works hard, can make a story about eating baloney sandwiches in jail hilarious, and he's fifty years old. When he told everyone about the stripper he saw once who was disabled and needed a walker, yet still attempted to put on a show, the others and myself were crying with laughter. The way the woman "mermaided" her way on the stage, and how he tipped her and got out. You had to be there.

Alicia and Ahmed had to catch a flight today, so they packed, said their goodbyes to the others, and I drove them to where a shuttle would pick them up. Alicia was crying. I think she said it was partly because she was glad to go back to Barcelona, but also because she met so many people she cared about and then after a month, would never see them again. I told her that people, including myself, would visit them in Barcelona, but that never helps.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." You know who said that? Dr. Seuss. He's right. But we never can until later. I don't know why grief arrives before gratitude when saying farewell. We should smile first, but tears mean more than smiles I think. But I hope Alicia and Ahmed are laughing about the internship now.

I parked my car and helped them unload their luggage. Hugs. Alicia said it was fun and started to cry again. I told her not to and she asked "why?" Ahmed told me I was a dreamer and surely a good writer, which I appreciated. I walked them to their stop and I hugged them again. Alicia said she was happy to have met me. I told them to have fun and walked back. Ahmed called out. I went back and he said thanks. I thanked both of them, saying if they were lame the internship would have been impossible, but luckily they're great. I am absolute rubbish with goodbyes, but if I've learned anything from my life it's that great things, great relationships, end anticlimactically.

I wouldn't say I was sad the internship is over. I am thrilled to drive eight days back instead of four, and then see people back home. And while I did have fun at the internship, it was hard work, and the body naturally feels blissful when the shovels and sledgehammers are put away.

However, once I got back in my car, and after I drove past Alicia and Ahmed to wave, a better display of my affection than awkward parting words, and after I merged onto the road through town and completed a complicated U-turn, and after I changed CD's in my car and right after a few seconds of listening to the song "Sense" by the Lightning Seeds, I finally stopped focusing on getting from point A to point B, and was hit with an immense wave of sadness. I couldn't describe it at the time. It was a bit like getting a bucket of water dumped on one's head, except it made me feel distant and warm. I drove most of the way back with the windows down despite the cold breeze. I suppose at that moment I crossed out of the rim of that peanut can lid and into the feverish center, although I did it without trying, because I truly didn't think I would feel that way after a month.

Luke made dinner and we're going to watch Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. Everyone else left to go drink, but Luke's not old enough and I wanted to stay in. It's a staying in night tonight. I'll be off tomorrow with Nick to head back home, and I'll probably spend the rest of the night watching a movie, playing guitar, and working online, so I can recharge.